How Do I Give Household Spiders Their Marching Orders?

Dear Folklore Agony Aunt

How do I dissuade spiders from congregating in my downstairs loo? I don’t want to hurt them. Conkers haven’t worked. I’m constantly evicting them (the glass and postcard method) but they turn around and come straight back!

EverlastingFlower, London

Dear EverlastingFlower

Ah, conkers, that old horse chestnut. This oft-repeated remedy for holding back eight-legged legends unfortunately is, as you and I have both found, a duffer, although such was the belief in the repelling nature of conkers, chestnut wood was once a favoured material for roofs and cloisters. But if you want to go the way of the wood, you may be better placed to secrete some cedar blocks in your privy, as these are said to be good for warding off our spidery friends (and our mothy ones too). 

September is a particularly tricky month for those with an aversion to spynners as they like to come inside your home and look for love in all of your crevices. But a very simple way to deter them is to make up a spritz of water and a few drops of peppermint oil and spray all of your woodwork. Spiders are not keen on peppermint oil and they will retreat, just make sure you never spray a spider directly as killing them (which is what will happen) is horrendously bad luck. Should you also be less than keen at the thought of a minty lav, it’s said that leaving a few cinnamon sticks or the peal of some citrus fruit on your windowsills will do just as well. Who knew potpourri could be so useful?

But if all else fails, you may want to consider putting a radio in your downstairs dunny. It has been observed and remarked upon many a time that spiders love listening to a good melody, especially if played by a bagpipe, lute, fiddle or mandolin. So with this in mind, your best bet is to tune your radio into some hardcore techno, said to make them run away faster than this agony aunt when she sees one. 

Of course, spiders can also be a blessing. It’s said should a spider walk towards you or fall from the ceiling in front of you, you’re in for a spot of good luck. But if it scurries off, best keep your fingers crossed for the foreseeable. You’ll find more blessings, curses and strange remedies concerning spiders in Household Lore, but until that is published, I’ll leave you with this final proverb: 

If that you would live and thrive
Let the spider run alive. 

Good luck!

The Folklore Agony Aunt

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